David Spade, John Heder (napoleon dyno-shite) and Rob "Lorne Michaels Fired Me, But I Just Kept Showing Up" Shnyderderder. I really don't care if I misspell his name, he's retarded.
Benchwarmers could be good if I'd been tripping on Crystal Meth/Horse Tranquilizer/a thousand pound cartoon cat chanting hymns with me from atop a zepplin. These things inflicting themselves on me might make me see this. And I'd have to be dating Reggie Jackson to go and he'd have to buy me my ticket. I did laugh out loud, however, when they hit the kid with the ball. But I also think that laugh was caused by an earlier memory of pooping my pants in a little league game. I'm happy they used the Foo Fighters song "Times Like These." I like the song and I'm sure John Heder cries while listening to it in his Mormon apartment while reciting lines from Napoleon Dyamite to his pet rock "Liger."
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest is coming soon - July 7th.
I liked the first Pirates a pant-load, but this trailer makes me not really want to see the new one. I hate some trailers (and they almost all do this) that have these huge, hyperbolic statements: "Have You Ever Challenged Life's Greatest Mysteries..." booms over the loud speaker by the generic voice. Or the huge and peculiarly written messages: "All Tommy Needed Was A Second Chance..." blah blah blah.
This trailer has that too.
The written messages are silly and pointless: "Never Trust a Pirate." Duh. I mean, that's like saying, "Beware of Angry Toothless Guys That Date Your Mom" in the trailer. It gets stranger and more, well, strange. A man in the shape of a hammerhead shark? I have been on this ride - even at Euro Crap Disney - and I seem to not recall pissing myself over a shark-man...I digress. This movie, however, will make a ton of bank and probably be really entertaining. A lot of horny guys with their wives will be pissed, again, that this Disney flick lacks a Kiera Knightley sex scene. So goes it. My advice: see Pirates with a dead person. If they get up and leave halfway through it, you know it's total shit. But if they stay, and if they make super-critical, but insightful comments on the film, then you've got a winner.
I Love Your Work is starring me, Pacey Witter.
I know that I look fucking hot in this trailer, but lets discuss the cinematic genius of my new movie's trailer. Creepy Music? Check. Normally nice looking guy looking strange and wearing a hideous-looking sweater? Check. And it was uncomfortable, but not like my Ducks jersey. Does it have Christina Ricci? Check.
This trailer is actually really well done, I think. Adam Goldberg, the funny Jewish guy from that laugh out loud comedy Private Ryan directed this and I think he's on to something by casting me, Pacey. Anyone who has seen The Conversation I think will enjoy this film and it's trailer. It has the similar feel of voyuerism and creepiness that Coppola's film also oozed with. The best thing about Goldberg's trailer: The huge gorilla that climbs to the top of the Empire State Building. The film looks good because the trailer is so permeating. It is something I'll see when nothing else is out, and I will leave it hating it as much as Munich. But it has a sexiness that draws you, and the cast is young and perfect, especially for a film about how new stardom and celebrity can mess with one's head. Check it, at least John Heder isn't in it.
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