Employee of the Month

Watch the trailer here.

Three stoned monkeys standing around a beer pong table thought of this one - you might be familiar with their work. They did Dodgeball, Accepted, Boys Don't Cry (sober) and The Ringer.

Formula: Introduce likeable familiar comedian in human and abnormal setting for said comedian, in this case a Costco. Introduce the “Pussy Prize,” usually with large, fake “honkers,” pearly white teeth and an embarrassing lack of acting talent – Jessica “Flavor of the Week (it’s been a cosmically long week)” Simpson. Then add a sprinkle of random, on the way down from “celebrity” stars: Andy Dick,and that guy who drank Harry’s piss in Dumb & Dumber. And, finally, add a “Funny Foe,” in this case the household name – Dax Shephard – you might remember him from “Punk’d” and more “Punk’d” and his sidekick, the Mexican politician from extremely overrated Napoleon Dynamite, Pedro. American wholesale has never looked so goddamn hilarious.

Dane Cook running into the forklift and getting hit in the nuts by a ball – gold, where did you creative monkey retards think of that? Buster Keaton thought about coming back to life, but he saw the last ten years of movies like this. I’m being silly, Keaton can’t think or process thought – he’s fucking dead.

The thing that redeems this trailer - and my intentions of seeing the film – is pretty simple. The line, “She slides into the sack like a singed koala looking for an all-night burn center.” Holy guacamole. Reminds me of the very un-comic time I saw a singed philharmonic orchestra at an all-night burn center, something about a molotov cocktail and an angry second violinist.

I love that Dane Cook has those lawsuit-inducing roller shoes and he’s certainly a pretty funny dude, but this trailer and the idea of this movie is retarded. So retarded, it seems, that it will surely be quoted in frat houses and by fuckheads like me for the next three years to a lifetime. Well done, Hollywood, your formula once again spells millions in proceeds. I hate our culture and yet I happily suck on the teat of it daily – drink up morons, it tastes so, so good.