HOOT

See Trailer for Hoot here.

This might go down as one of the worst trailers ever. Wait, can I say that? Oh, right, “Soundtrack featuring new music by Jimmy Buffett.” Yes, I can. Will Shriner, the guy who wrote and directed this, was also involved in writing “The Norm Show,” “Everybody Loves Raymond,” and “Twin Peaks.” Just kidding, but he did write, “Living with Fran…” Wow, put this guy next to Victor Hugo and I can’t tell the difference.



Jimmy Buffett. Have you ever been to Margaritaville? It’s Buffett’s restaurant that plays “Margaritaville” about every five minutes and waitresses and southern hicks start singing that God-awful song. Last time I was there I heard a lady scream, “I would sell this here baby for one more Peeen-yah co-lad-a!!!” Luke Wilson must have been hammered when he took this role – or he simply realized that he really isn’t a good actor at all. “Eat more nachos and chili poppers, Luke, you’re turning into a fuckhead,” I say.

Even the humor in the trailer is weak and sophomoric, not that it’s a surprise given this film’s one-membered audience: Carl Hiassen, the writer of “Hoot.” Nice writing Carl – captivating.

“We’re the only ones who care…”
“We’re the only ones who KNOW!”

Honestly, I don’t mind the extinction of owls. When was the last time you went to the zoo to see owls? Has an owl ever saved your life? Loaned you a smoke? Eaten placenta?! No, owls suck. If they were saving “water cheetahs” then maybe I’d care. But no one, no one seems to care about the plight of the water cheetah. No one.

So, my final ruling: shitty trailer for a movie that even Carl Hiassen will walk out on. Peace brothers – go see Superman, at least that will have Kevin Spacey and some water cheetahs.