Because I Said So.

We try not to be exclusive here at Trailer Reviews. We try to cover trailers of all genres…but we fail.

This blog is a total sausage-fest. We like movies with blood! And explosions! And Christopher Walken! He is so funny when he pauses when he talks about stuff! We try to say things like he says but we fail! That means he is a Very Good Actor!

But in the interest of diversity, I decided to review Because I Said So.

And I swear by all that is holy I will never review another chick flick.

I began by reading the brief description provided by the Apple Trailers website. I was initially intrigued by the fact that it featured Piper Perabo (Peribeaux). I loved her in Rocky and Bullwinkle and Coyote Ugly, and when I read that she was playing a “sexy and irreverent” character named “Mae” opposite Jessica Simpson and one of the robots from the Gilmore Girls you could have knocked me over with a feather!

So I went ovaries (balls) out. I took the extra 4 minutes and downloaded the high-def, 1080p, THX approved version of the trailer. I popped some fat free popcorn, wrapped myself in an afghan and prepared to laugh and to cry and to menstruate.

And you know what happened?

They showed Diane Keaton’s ASS.

And I blacked out.

So I have no fucking idea what this movie is about. I didn’t watch the rest of the trailer. I couldn’t take that chance.

To recover, I watched the trailer for Hostel: Part 2. This trailer is so good, I think it might be bragging about The Holocaust. Plus, the movie itself probably features at least one instance of genital mutilation. Which I think everyone can appreciate.

So, in summation, we’d like to send a big “Fuck You” to Michael Lehmann, director of Because I said So. Fuck you for making a movie that was edited into a trailer during which I saw Diane Keaton’s ass. I hope you die.