Down in the Valley

Mert is at AD’s casa and so they’ve decided to write up the Down in the Valley trailer as a joint effort. We hope this little experiment is as exciting for you as it is for us.

Check out the trailer here.

AccidentallyDisastrous: If the filmmaker’s goal was to make a movie that would be totally unattractive to me, they have succeeded with flying colors. There are many EdNorton’s and the “insecure crazy loner EdNorton who seems kind at first, but is seriously fucked”™ is my least favorite one.

MertMenglemier: Dude, I know. In late 2006, Norton will star in “The Illusionist,” where he plays a cowboy-magician-Nazi who has a homosexual crush on a guy named Ennis – I know, sounds “totes awesome” right? But get this, he’s a paraplegic cowboy and Wolf Blitzer directs it – it’s new territory, but it should be “totes good.” What do you think the impetus is for Norton leaving the loveable ranch to come to the city?

AccidentallyDisastrous: I have to assume that his career as the lead singer of the Stray Cats forced him to move from his mountain homestead into the city where he hooks up with the daughter of the guy from The Rock. But its all gonna go bad, as anyone who has seen the preview can attest.

MertMengelmier: It’s weird to think that a cowboy fucking your thirteen-year-old daughter would piss someone like David Morse off – he always plays such calm, gentle guys (The Rock, Twelve Monkeys, Indian Murderer David Morse: Killer in White Haired Body) but then again, the movie is called, “Down in the Valley,” which clearly is an allusion to the Ishiguro short story “Cowboy come from Valley, make like dragon and steal a Culkin.” What do you think, AD, have you read that?

AccidentallyDisastrous: There are not a lot of actors I like less than Keiran Culkin. It doesn’t matter that he isn’t in this movie. Just seeing one of the Culkin’s makes me relive that half-hour I spent watching The Secret Lives of Altar Boys. Seriously though, doesn’t this movie come out six times a year?

MertMengelmier: Actually, yes, it’s like Hard Candy meets Brokeback Mountain meets Fear meets Varsity Blues. It’s Indie tripe with a big name actor. The only reason I’d go with you to this if you asked me is if they were handing out Nerf baseball bats in the theater. That way, I could beat you with it and then myself for having seen another filmic abortion at your urging. I’m hungry; you know the time is coming for the final verdict on Down in the Valley of Boredom – we need to get drunk at dinner and hit on bland Thai waitresses.

AccidentallyDisastrous: Lets agree to agree. Some days we all just want to step out of our own heart, and go walking under sky full of stars.

MertMengelmier: Touche – and on this journey, lets shoot a cowboy and make him sing Train songs – just because that’s how we roll. Peace.