Children of Men

Being a Friday writer, I often get to write about the choice Friday trailer releases. Today is one of those days, and Children of Men is the trailer.

First of all, I had no idea what this movie was about, who was in it, who was directing - I didn't know anything until I read the "Drama, Action, Adventure" and starring Clive Owen. I was immediately interested, but had no idea what it was about. Rather than reiterate the trailer's voice over, I'll just encourage you to go watch this excellent trailer.

Now to talk about it. I like the trailer. No, I love the trailer. The art direction is excellent. The pacing is really good, even the typography on the text is fantastic. But as this is a good trailer, mostly it just makes me excited for the movie it is advertising. There are elements in this trailer of two movies that I really liked, but had some problems with: War of the Worlds, and 28 Days Later.

Without getting into extensive reviews, I loved the beginning of War of the Worlds, as society fell apart. The masses of people trying to escape something they don't understand, the complete breakdown of society, the brutal human nature showing itself alternately in ferocious mobs and moments of utter despair. I loved when the military mobilized against the aliens, the juxtaposition of convoys driving through small roads in New England, ignoring citizens and treating home soil as a battlefield. I wanted more of the mobs, more of the highways littered with crashed cars, people turned to animals over a gun, or a car. I was significantly less interested when they started sneaking around the tripods and using some yankee ingenuity to fight back. I was bored and annoyed when there was an "everything is ok, no one even go hurt" happy ending.

28 Days later was good, but it skipped the part I was most interested in. The guy wakes up after society has collapsed, everything is destroyed and there are zombies everywhere, and that's all well and good, but really I wanted to see those 28 days. I wanted to see London collapse, I wanted to see why that bus was on its side, I wanted to see some people trying to live normally as the world destroyed itself outside. War of the Worlds did it too quickly, and 28 days later implied and talked about exactly what I wanted to see, but couldn't show it.

Then there's the Children of Men trailer - it is exactly what I wanted to see. Women have all become infertile, and it's been 18 years since a baby was born. Society is halfway through tearing itself apart. A brutal police state is supressing the growing mob who know there is nothing left to live for, and that humanity will be gone in fifty years. Yes, yes, yes. There are tanks in the street, buses and trains all have reinforced windows, security checkpoints are everywhere, but there are still coffee shops and the news is on the air, reporting the end of the world. Clive "awesome" Owen and Michael "even more awesome" Caine are in it, and neither has shaved in a while. The tanks and troops are on the streets, and bombs are going off. The sets are fantastic, the future world looks spectacularly well realized, and in short, this trailer is delicious.

When they set up the conflict, that Clive has to drive a woman across England, I did actually chuckle a bit, and clearly there is no way he will fail. Clive, after all, got his big start driving BMWs really fast and really well. Though he has since acted in dozens of good movies, he is forever the nameless "Driver" to me.

Drive, Clive, Drive.

Note: At the time of writing, the HD link on the page I linked at the beginning is broken. You can find the trailers in glorious HD here.

Dead Man's Shoes

I don’t have too much to say about this trailer aside from: enjoy.

The brits seem to have realized that what makes the best scary movies (Texas Chainsaw Massacre, Last House on the Left, Zombi) really disturbing is making them so low budget that they are way, way too real.

It also helps to put someone onscreen who seems genuinely disturbed. Good job.

The Science of Sleep

Watch the wonderous trailer here.

Michel Gondry knows my darkest thoughts. Recently, at a local brothel, I mentioned to a friend how desperately I wanted to see Gabriel Garcia Bernal run into an oak door. Gondry delivered. Plus, The Strokes “Fear of Sleep” is playing when he does it (I once ate a live catfish to that song – it has such an effect on me).

Surreal filmmakers, writers and artists need to lay their heads on Gondry's furry tummy and listen to his fairytales from Versailles, his stories of wanting to be an inventor and drumming for Kanye West. He's a brilliant man. If you’re unfamiliar with Gondry you’re mistaken – he’s created some of the most recognizable music videos of recent years. The White Stripes “The Hardest Button to Button,” The Chemical Brothers “I’ve been 12 forever,” and Daft Punk’s “Around the World,” to name a few mind-numbingly cool ones. He also directed Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, which The Science of Sleep feels like a lower budget sketch for, even though it was produced after that film. For me the best thing about his imaginative projects is his willingness to steer clear of CG effects – it keeps the viewer in the movie and not distracted by bullshit. This way you can focus on the real questions: “What the fuck is going on in this surreal ass movie? Was that a seal smoking a spliff?” Even the fictional horse is merely a horse with a large cloth taped to his fur – brilliant work, Michel.



The trailer has the same feel as his trailer for Eternal Sunshine: there’s too much going on - all of it immensely entertaining - he’s simply showing too much. Yet any of his fans know that there will be so much more imagination, comedy and quirkiness in the film, he won’t let us down in that respect. The movie might suck toenail dirt, but the bizarreness and visual-brilliance will still be better than any other director.

If you laugh at things most people won’t admit to laughing at, e.g., Ayn Rand’s followers, fireflies, twenty-year-olds talking million-dollar real estate and Ethan Hawke’s writing career, then you’ll love this movie. I have every idea what I’m talking about.

The Prestige

Finally, after a monster dry spell, a new big trailer shows up - and it's a good one. Christopher "I can kind of do no wrong" Nolan has put together a dynamite cast that is essentially the cast of Batman Begins plus Scarlett Johansson and Hugh Jackman. The story seems to be a period fantasy about two competing magicians, and the entire movie appears to be shot in pale yellow and brown. I would say this is a pretty good trailer, but I'm willing to bet that if there was more money there, or closer to the movie's release, we'll get something amazing. As it stands now, the beginning is a little weak, but the second half is gold, mostly due to Michael Caine's voice over.

What I like about this trailer is that it works on the same premise as a magic trick, as described by Mr. Caine. The first part - The Pledge - where the magician introduces the trick: That would be the text on the screen during the first bit establishing Hugh and Christian as competing magicians. The second part - The Turn - where things take a turn for the extraordinary: A trailer about a rivalry becomes a trailer about a man who may be a magician without tricks. And the third part - The Prestige - "this is the part that twists and turns. Where lives hang in the balance." That is just hinted at, magic tricks going wrong, things getting surreal and chaotic, and and then before you understand what is going on, it's over, and the show is over. Much like I imagine the magicians in this movie would perform a trick.

This does raise the question - Are magic tricks and trailers really just pure examples of short storytelling, a necessity due to their extremely limited time frame, or is this an especially nicely structured trailer?

I don't much care, I could just listen to Michael Caine say "The Prestige" all day.

Spider Man 3 Teaser

He doesnt look like the victim of an Alien Symbiote.

He just looks the victim of bad lighting.

EDIT:

So, due to Spiffae's nasty comment Spiffae's rousing agreement on this post, I decided to go back and give the teaser another look. Guess what: I still can't get past the costume.

With the first film in the trilogy, Sam Raimi did something no other director had done at that point. He perfectly captured the movement of a character that we had only ever imagined moving. There was so much power and beauty in the way Spider Man moved, it replaced whatever we had pictured in our heads. This was truly a superhero come to life.

Because of this, I am not alone in saying I have been excited to see the Black Costume on screen since I saw the first trailer for Spider Man 1. I heard that they were saving it for the third movie and I am glad they did. It is no secret that I loathed Spider Man 2. The reasons need not be explained at length, it was just too scattered for my tastes. But ever since I have been secretly excited for 3. The Black Costume! Fanboys rejoice! Here was the Canon! Here was Venom and Carnage! And they give me this?

The black costume should be Night. It should be Darkness. It takes the basest impulses in the wearer and brings them to the surface. It should move like a shadow across the screen. It made Peter Parker from your friendly neighborhood Spider Man into a brutal judge, jury and executioner. It turned Eddie Brock into a Beast called Venom that really, really wanted to eat someone’s brains. And the best they can do is a different colored version of the original suit. It isn’t even totally black! The back of the head looks maroon in most of the shots!

If I was able to get past the suit, I would say that, as always, whoever edits the Spider Man trailers is an unqualified genius. From the very beginning they were perfect. Spiffae can testify that I made him watch the original Spider Man trailer upwards of ten times in a row before the release of the first film. That is not an exaggeration. Spider Man 2 had that car through the window sequence that was pure money. And Spider Man 3 is no exception. In a minute and 37 seconds they give you all the characters, their relationships, some great action shots, and reams of footage of the (hated) new costume. Kudos to the editor.

But that fucking costume…

The Great New Wonderful

Watch the trailer here.

Finally, after his breakout role in RV, Will Arnett is in a serious movie – and what a fucking atrocious movie it seems, too. I pray, pray, pray that at some point "Job" does a magic trick, or else the movie is a complete waste of your time. And the movie has such potential with the star-studded cast: Tony Shaloub, Edie "Leprosy Lover" Falco, Stephen Colbert and Jim Gaffigan, one of my favorite comedians, all are in the roster. However, Edie Falco’s standup comedy is kinda crap – sorry Edie, but the whole, “You know what I hate about Whops…” lines are tired and frankly not very funny. I love your take on Puerto Ricans, however.

What I don’t understand about this movie is the association with September 11, 2001, besides that it was filmed in New York City. Otherwise it’s just boring and troubled people doing sometimes funny things, sometimes deeply sad. Existences are existences and I don’t need to pay $12 bucks to watch Maggie Gyllenhaal in a mid-life crisis (stick to roles like Secretary, which changed my sex life indelibly). “After everything that’s happened, I still cannot believe that nothing has changed,” says Falco. This seems to be the thesis of the film and the trailer.

You’re right, Director Danny Leiner, to some nothing has really changed. So what? Does it need to be the subject of two hours of film? And everything has changed, asshole. Look across the East River towards where those two giant towers full of many individuals used to stand and you’ll notice quite a tragic view. Oh and the whole war thing. I have an opinion that many, many Americans, Afghanis, and Iraqis would disagree with your assertion. So, stop being retarded and make a real movie. Here’s an idea, free of charge: a little-known blogger decides to marry an insecure Israeli model and start a rock band named “Smashboard Confessional.” They live a happy, highly sexually experimental existence until…his concert-death is tragic when a prank goes horribly awry – he swallows a pillow-full of milk. There you go – anything is better than The Great New Wonderful.

The Puffy Chair

This is more a critique of odd marketing, but since trailers are pretty crucial in movie marketing, I will go about my business with only the usual burden of guilt and sorrow.

The Puffy Chair: The synopsis on apple.com goes like this:

Josh has failed at being a NYC indie rocker. Josh has failed at being a booking agent. Josh’s life is pretty much in the toilet. When he tries to figure out where it all went wrong he comes up with an idea that would be a small, yet life changing victory. He decides to purchase a 1985 Lazy Boy on eBay and deliver it cross-country.
Comedy

Sounds good so far - any movie whose trailer synopsis involves someone's life being in the toilet must be funny, right? Delivering a Lazy Boy cross country? Sounds a lot like the much-needed sequel to Road Trip.

Let's look at the trailer, play by play. Once they set up the story, we get the Daily Mirror telling us that this is "The funniest, hippest, twentysomething relationship drama of the year." First of all, I would raise the question - how many twentysomething relationship dramas are there a year? Five? That is like saying "The funniest, hippest, stock car racing comedy of the year" - it's not bad, but does it really mean anything? I posit that no, it does not. Immediately after that we get "Laugh out loud funny..." from Variety. What went where that ellipsis is? It seems like a perfect place for a qualifier, like "Laugh out loud funny, if you have no soul" or "Laugh out loud funny in an alternate universe where sad things are funny and make you laugh." - and that really gets to the core of what I am thinking about this trailer. This is not a funny trailer, it is a serious and kind of rough indie relationship trailer about unhappy people trying to be happy with each other.

Once the funny cards are past, the trailer essentially consists of a boyfriend making a nice dinner for his girlfriend, then he ignores her and gets on the phone and she smashes everything on the table. Ha ha. After that the same boy screams in the face of an old man over a piece of used furniture while his friend looks on. Hilarious. Then a card tells us this is one of the best American films of the past ten years, and then they end the trailer with this bit:

Boy (angrily): You want me to be this dude that I am not!
Girl: If you asked me to marry you right now, I would say yes. I would marry you and I would grow old with you and I would have your babies (she starts crying ) I would, because that's why I'm this relationship - because I love you. And I want that.

That is some comic genius. Watching that bit, which is done in a poorly lit room with a single handheld camera on this girl, I did not feel like I should chuckling to myself at the hip comedy of it all, I felt like I was watching a relationship come to that awful breaking point where one person puts everything out there, and suddenly there's a tremendous weight on everything you say and everything you do, and it's not funny at all.

So why market it as a comedy?

Trailer(apple.com)

Charlotte's Web

Purity is not a word that I toss about too often. But there is purity in the writings of E.B. White.

Charlotte’s Web is a pure book. It is a polite book. It is a book with manners. It is a book that your grandmother probably gave you when you were 14 and too old to for it. But she wanted you to have it anyway because she thought your parents were raising you poorly and reading Charlotte’s Web would make you less of a shit. But at that point, you had probably read it or seen the excellent Hanna Barbara animated musical adaptation (I still love the song that Templeton and the Goose sing about a fair being “a veritable smorgasbord”) and if neither had an affect on you when you were younger you were probably hopeless. And your grandmother knew that. But she hoped. She saw they were making a big Hollywood adaptation of the book she so wanted you to love. Perhaps, here was a chance for your younger brother or sister at least to have a shot at a good life.

Then she saw the trailer.

Your grandmother does not think it is a classy thing when a cow farts on a rat. There is a distinct lack of purity in that act.

Note to Hollywood: They already made a classy live-action version of Charlotte’s Web. IT WAS CALLED BABE. We did this once already. You will not make a better movie about a pig, so why even try? I even chose a still from the Babe trailer as the frontispiece for this post. Admit it, you had no idea.

Grandma knew though, grandma knew.

The U.S. vs. John Lennon

Watch the trailer here.

So, apparently there was a band named "The Beatles" and they had this front man, John Lennon. Now they're making a movie about his war efforts. I think this movie is going to be amazing: what happens when a total fucking wanker starts representing the anti-war movement? Lennon is a precursor to Cindy Sheehan, but you too can tell that he lacks her insight, her magnificent wit, her Wilde-ian demeanor - LENNON'S NOT CINDY, AND HE NEVER WILL BE (which is truly, truly sad).

In 1967 Lennon said, "We're more popular than Jesus now. Oh, and I'm a total douche." I can see where he's coming from - in the 1960s Jesus's ratings in US News and World Report were through the roof. I just love these anti-war movies -the last comment tying Mr. Johnson (LBJ) and Mr. Bush shows the true agenda of this filmic abortion. If you want to make a movie that tells people how awful war is, just hold a camera on the front page of the New York Times every morning for a year. I see enough of the awfulness on television and in the news, I don't want to pay $10 bucks to watch holier-than-thou John Lennon preaching his hippy bullshit. When will people realize that sometimes it takes seemingly-awful deeds to rectify future horror? Saddam Hussein: not a nice guy. Robert Mugabe: similar to Hussein, except more murder and severed children's heads being used as soccer balls. Ho Chi Minh: not a nice guy, would have declared war on all of the far East if he had the chance - oh, and he would anally rape John Lennon and his "Free Spirit" if he had the chance - and probably with a blunt spoon.



AD once told me, "Marc David Chapman was the greatest thing to happen to the Beatles." I think this is an insanely astute point. I don't really like their music. I think their appeal completely misses me. And the idea that a musician and his toss of a wife represent what we should want to be is laughable. Want to go see a great anti-war movie? 9 1/2 Weeks.

Little Man

Fuck You, Wayans.

Ratatouille

Brad Bird directs a second Pixar movie? It will be excellent, sign me up. It takes place in Paris? Again, sign me up. Snooty restaurants, french accents, and whining accordions? Movie gold. The entire first bit of this trailer pulls heavily on the fantastic kitchen seqence from The Little Mermaid, and I couldn't be happier. I hope the movie has crazy kitchen chase after crazy kitchen chase, but even if it doesn't, I know it will be good.

That said, I am not crazy about the trailer. I know that this is the way early not-from-the-movie trailer that pixar always does, the cars one was pretty bad, and that movie turned out fine. The Incredibles one was amazing, but let's face it - everything about that movie was amazing. The Ratatouille trailer starts off really well, I mean who doesn't want to see a kitchen get smashed up while a funny rat runs around, but when it cuts to the expositition, I'm less taken. I don't know much about the voice actor for the main guy, he has done a bunch of TV and small parts, and frankly his voice is kind of annoying when he's shouting to his dad. I trust that the decision is a sound one, and that the movie will be excellent, but the trailer in a vaccuum - it's not quite the magic it could be.

Final verdict: Trailer - 7 / Movie prediction - 10.

Watch the trailer here. (Apple.com)

This is a little early, as I am traveling again this Friday. Forgive me, boys.

Brothers of the Head

Watch the trailer here.

The moment this trailer starts and Jonathan Pryce is on the boat, I really hoped it was a movie about Oasis and not about two freakish, conjoined twins and their punk rock career. I mean, honestly, what the fuck? "Hi, I'm an independent film director and I want to make a movie about 'space docking,' it's when a guy takes a dump in his girlfriend's vagina." Yeah, that's what I think of the depths some directors will go to shock you into seeing total shit. Just. Make. A. Quality. Movie. Like Jimmy Fallon does, for instance. Enough of this crap.

However, Brothers of the Head is a movie of immense stupidity, and on that note: go do your laundry or clean your fridge or masturbate. Seriously, you haven't done it in a while and you don't want waste two hours of your precious life (please don't masturbate for two hours - that's bound to get painful). It's not the subject matter entirely that irks me, it's the exploitive marketing behind it. One of the taglines is "For some people, rock and roll will always be a freak show." Nice, Toni Grosoni (the writer of the screenplay), way to allow your work - and the novel BOTH was based on - to be royally pissed on.

You know that moment in Braveheart when Angus Macfadyen, playing Robert the Bruce, stands on the battlefield and stares at the camera after a horrific fight, looking dishonored at the death and ghastly nature of humanity? You know that scene? Yeah, that's how I feel about this trailer: Oh Holy God, what have we done?

Monster House

Wednesday's Post, two days overdue:

When the trailer first dropped for Monster House, I must admit I was underwhelmed. Sure it looks pretty, but honestly, when anyone other than Pixar makes animated CG movies, it is like watching someone other than Kobayashi win a hot dog eating contest. Sure the same elements are there, but where’s the love?

Then I found out that a certain fellow named Rob Schrab wrote and had the initial concept for the film. This made things a bit more interesting. Mr. Schrab wrote one of the finest comic book series of the 90s, Scud the Disposable Assassin. It was like John Woo, Quentin Tarintino, and Sam Peckinpah got together and made some crazy android baby that wrote a comic book. If you have the opportunity to read the collections, go for it.

So it was with more interest that I watched this new trailer for Monster House. It is very similar to the older trailer, but contains one significant difference: The funniest joke I have seen in a trailer in a year. I wont transcribe it here, but it involves Baseball and Mental Retardation. You’ll know it when you hear it.

Spiffae is in the wilds of Tokyo, so I will be posting for him this evening or tomorrow morning. Keep you eyes peeled.

Once in a Lifetime

Watch the trailer here.

Many people think soccer is a sport for "flaming sissies," "big vaginas" and, erm, "the British." But in the 1970s it became a sexy game. This is not a joke. In England George Best was doing drugs, going out to all the clubs - he was a major rockstar. Same with Beckenbaur, Cryuff and Pele. As we are in the midst of the 2006 World Cup, people are beginning to take a liking to this sexy game once again. I get hot just thinking about Henry, Zidane, Ronaldinho and Beckham. And Rooney makes me wish I was a skanky British slag just for one kiss on his sweet, be-acned face.

This movie will be a hit - albeit a small hit - but an independent success, especially since it will be released two days before the World Cup Final next month. And, as luck would have it, the day Babe Ruth got his Masters in Medieval Art History. Recipe for glory, methinks.

The trailer for Once in a Lifetime is a let down, however, and doesn't make it as bloody awesome as it absolutely will be. The first third of this trailer is stupid and makes the movie seem like a joke - it's a great story that true soccer fans know - the plight of the initial "Dream Team." Even soccer novices should and will enjoy the film. Beckenbaur, Pele, even Ozzie Ardilles and Chinaglia, the most overrated soccer player in history, all played in the green and white of the New York Cosmos. For me what is wrong with this trailer is its lack of sincerity. Anybody who was alive in the 1970s and remembers this team and this time should be angry at the bullshit voiceover in the trailer. Stupid sentences like, "The glamour..." "The Greed..." "And that's just the first half." The trailer is weak because it doesn't show half the skills and great goals that players on the Cosmos scored. It would be like making a movie about Nascar and not showing any of the crashes. Pele scored 111 goals for them in about four seasons (gasp, vomit), but the trailer only has one of his goals and none of his phenomenal dribbling skills.

Once - just once in my life - I want to hear a voiceover say one sentence at the end of the trailer: "This. Movie. Will. Fuck. You. Hard."

Casino Royale

When Daniel Craig was announced as the next James Bond, some people were upset. I'm not sure why, I guess they liked Pierce Brosnan's limp-wristed sashaying around the world's tourist spots, bedding improbably willing women and every once and a while getting punched in the face. Bond movies have always been big on the camp and sense of fun, but with Brosnan at the wheel it was like everyone was in on a big joke, and that joke stopped being funny a long time ago.

So Daniel Craig came on the scene, a younger fellow, sharp looking and only a couple of roles under his belt (he was excellent in Layer Cake and Munich). There was some talk of re-gritting up the series, making it rougher and more realistic, going back to the early Bond books, and getting a fresh start. This trailer certainly started out right. Snappy black and white, not a lame cliche in sight, Daniel Craig looking super effing cool, and then right at the halfway point - poof. A stupid color montage of dumb action, that damn dated music, and like seven shots of ladies and men getting out of the water. If Casino Royale were directed by Doug Liman, shot entirely in black and white, involved brutal beatings and executions, it might be good. As it is, it looks like a pastiche of James Bond, caught between wanting to be edgy and wanting to be campy, with a trailer cut by someone who watched to footage, was disappointed because it was bad, and decided to spend the first half of his alloted time using random odds and ends to set up a look that will be sorely lacking from the final film.

Watch the trailer here.

I read this back over, and it's pretty harsh. In truth, I hold a little hope for this movie, mostly because Daniel Craig reminds me of Steve McQueen in his youth, and when I try to imagine a Steve McQueen James Bond, it's so awesome that I have to stop thinking about it before my head explodes.

Princess

Check out this staggeringly awesome teaser. Turn down your volume, its loud.

There is a longer, very NSFW trailer for this Danish film, which can be found with little effort. I am not posting a direct link to the longer one, because it is not in a language you probably know. If they release a subtitled version it will get a more complete write-up here.

But for now, just enjoy this teaser. I am not going to tell you what the film is about or what to expect when you click on the link. Just know it is very short and very amazing.

The Groomsmen

View The Groomsmen trailer here.

If premature ejaculation were a trailer, The Groomsmen’s trailer would be running out of the bedroom murmuring about drinking too much and wanting to go back to its apartment and watch ESPN or Geraldo or some shit. This trailer isn’t good. In fact, the trailer seems to be leaking The Big Chill. It's trying to have Jay Mohr with the humor of a Vince Vaughn and the stupidity of Will Farrell, but it’s Matthew Lilliard. Who wants to pay money for this shit? What is John Leguizamo thinking? Is this a movie actually DIRECTED by Ed Burns?

If one genre is a chick flick, this is most definitely a dick flick. Guys confronting change – really good looking guys, one of whom is with Brittany Murphy. Yeah, that happens. A bunch of guys rolling into the days of Viagra, Preparation H, and Martha Stewart who decide to play in a rock band one last time – I can just see myself at the movies, sitting next to my dad’s bowling team and wanting to vomit as Matthew Lilliard strums his career-ruined guitar. Maybe Pauley Shore will make a cameo and shit on the drums.



Cosmic suspension of disbelief: In the trailer, Lilliard calls his kids his “homeboys.” Jay Mohr plays a violent brother who gets into fights…Ed Burns knows how to golf (watch this scene close, Burns’ massive wad is totes sticking out, male camel toe….How do guys in their early 30s afford this lavish lifestyle? Boating, nice houses, golf, restaurants that are not Red Lobster, Britanny Murphy? Their existence is impossible; this movie is bullshit.

The last scene of the trailer – which is trying desperately to be funny – sums up the film for me. To illustrate my feelings: I just had my penis stepped on my Ed Burns. Hard. That’s right, Private Reiben stepped on my nads with his crappy movie with actors I once liked. You heard me, Spawn, you. heard. me.

Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning

Well here's a brilliant idea. You can only watch the trailer between 10:00 PM and 4:00 AM. What genius came up with that piece of marketing? If I'm interested in a movie and the trailer comes out, when I click the link I want to see the goddamn trailer. Here is a little fuck you to whoever came up with this marketing coup.

24 hour link to the large trailer

Since I am late to writing this and it is 10:46, I can watch it and comment on it, and it is my great displeasure to say that the trailer is actually pretty good and full of nice sound work, good editing, and excellent visuals. Probably though, if I were to see it when I am wide awake and not tired, I would see through the flimsy production and realize that this is a terrible trailer, but since I can only see it half asleep, I think it's pretty good. May this actually was a good idea. They should only show the movie from 10 to 4, that way no one would ever see the movie fully cognizant of what was going on, and thus would report that it was good. That's actually an idea - you could probably manufacture a movie to appeal to people who are really tired, calm music, peaceful, sleepy images, and then flashes of shocking horror to keep you awake. Holy shit I think I just figured it out. The trailer starts with a damn lullaby, for Christ's sake.

Five stars for marketing genius.

I still won't see this movie though.

Trailer page (from 10pm to 4am)

The Lost City

Cuba

Havana.

Ha-ba-na.

Havana is Españolish for "drenched in sweat".

The trailer for Out of Time caused me to effeminately fan myself in the theatre. The trailer for The Quiet American made me dizzy and a little sick to my stomach. After seeing the Lost City trailer before the superlative Brick (if we reviewed whole movies, I couldn't speak highly enough of Brick) I had to be hospitalized for heat stroke.

Aside from my bizarre psychosomatic maladies, this is a great trailer. For me, there are two kinds of great trailers. One kind makes me desperately want to see the film advertised, e.g. trailers for The Matrix Reloaded, The Incredibles, and the aforementioned Brick. The other kind of great trailer makes me feel as I have watched and enjoyed a movie I would never see. There is nothing about the film The Lost City that appeals to me, but its trailer is a long, gorgeous classic. It slides effortlessly from pathos, to action, to mambo and back again. The last thirty seconds, starting with the lovely Inés Sastre whispering, “Time is not on our side” and ending with the title card…perfect.

Whattya know? Crank up the A/C folks, I just convinced myself to go see the damn movie.

By the way, this is our 50th post. I would like the thank our readers for getting us here, but really Mert wrote like 35 posts in a row while Spiffae and I climbed K2. Thanks, Mert.

Little Miss Sunshine

View Little Miss Sunshine trailer here.

Seldom do trailers come along that make me want to say, “Fuck. Google. Yes.” Seldom does a trailer come along starring Wesley Snipes that makes me say, “Fuck. No!” Some of the previous comments are neither here nor there, but this dark and hilarious trailer blows my mind. The orchestral/violin opening is moving and enticing. And the trailer is riddled with jokes that seem, well, not really like jokes at all – hence the essence of my favorite type of humor: “Should I laugh or should I cry?” “Is this absurd or normal?” “Can suicide be funny?” Hell yes.

Steve Carell, fresh off of his brilliant performance as Michael Scott in the American Office, which has earned him a pantload of prizes, is made for a role like this – it tests the mettle of all comedians to see them play the tragic-comedian. Will Ferrell tried and failed in Winter Passing, Jim Carey succeeded in Man on the Moon, and Mork did pretty well in It’s Not Your Fault, Will, It’s Not Your Fault. This seems to be the opportunity for Carell to prove his stuff, and I’d wager he will fucking rock the mic.



Jonathan Dayton and Victoria Faris - the directors of Little Miss Sunshine - are perhaps more well-known for directing “Mr. Show.” They also did a little known MTV show called “The Cutting Edge” some time ago (it was sorta a big deal – like hotcakes and butter and pushpins). It’s nice to see that they recognize what many of us already knew: Steve Carell is an extremely gay man. His opening conversation with the silent Paul Dano is brilliant, and oozing with “I’m pretty gay” sentiments. And the second conversation with Abigail Arkin at the dinner table about his “accident” is deeply moving. Oh, and really, really gay.

This is a fantastic trailer. The film is supposed to be astonishing says all of the anorexic blowhards at Sundance. We shall see.